Since the day I felt the clench of self power and control was the day I converted to
Paganism, but I didn't think I'd be entering a world war. I remember it like it was
yesterday, six years ago I was sitting in church with my family, and I never liked
church, but I believed in God. It was until I felt the holy spirit slip through me
causing me to go into a fit of tears, I felt like I was being uplifted, and to any
Christian, this is a good feeling, to me, this was God's warning…….Do not put any God
before me. I got up from my seat, trying to get pass the crowd of people with their arms
raised in praise, I quivered, grew nauseated and ran for the bathroom. The green essence
of light in the bathroom was blinding to my eyes, so I went over to the sink and tried to
vomit, I began to shake as if having an anxiety attack. This feeling of torment seized me
to learn over the sink pulling out my hair screaming a holler of terror. My eyes rolled
into the back of my head, and I could hear that voice, that voice I had no trust
for…..Don't you even think about putting another God before me, do not put another savior
before Christ. It was the end of service, when an old woman walked into the bathroom, and
saw me leaning over the sink, in the reflection of the mirror I glared at her, and she
just walked by, sanctioning the holy father into my face, I bashed her out of my way,
searching for my mom, and in the car on the way home….I realized, I have never been
Christian, I was not born of that origin nor am I to stick to the system.
So why did I become Pagan? Was it the fact that I felt most comfortable with it? That
there were no ten commandments? I did what was smart, I did my research for hours, day on
end. And after two years of compulsive study to understand Paganism, the origin, and what
it means to be Pagan, I wanted to be a part of it. Slowly I began to reach out to those
across the country, met a few in my state, and surprisingly got information for those who
went to my high school (sadly, those were the shy girls who were scared of exposing their
pentacles across their collar bones). Suddenly I began to learn that there were others
out there like me, and in the end we would all enter a great circle.
The day I was anointed with oil and converted to an old tradition, was the greatest
blessing I'd felt in years. I was surrounded by women and men of all ages…a few friends
there with me. In fact, it was so beautiful that I began to cry. I was entering the realm
of the Goddess. The great mother.
It has been four years since I was anointed into the Pagan world. I've done my share of
teachings, now that I'm educated. I begin my mornings like every morning, watching the
sun come up over the Cascade mountains entering the valley is the most spiritual moment I
have. Being Pagan, I am closer to nature than I ever was.
There is….a form of turmoil every Pagan man and woman will face. To me, God's revenge is
he sets out Christians, Catholics, whatever to come out and judge me, humiliate me. It
was this year that I was on the verge of dating this amazing guy, I'd known him for a
while, but we had chemistry, so I thought. On our first date, we went to the park for a
lovely walk, and that night, I was texting him, playing the question game, what kind of
music do you like, that sort of thing. Then, he asked me if I was religious and I said
yes. He asked me, "are you Christian?" But I wanted to be honest with him, I am always
honest when it comes to dating a guy. So I told him that I was Pagan. He didn't respond
after an hour, and when he did, he explained that we couldn't date, and we could no
longer be friends. I asked why. He said, "because you're Pagan. And I'm not going to date
you, I am so disgusted with you. Good bye."
So……when you're a young woman like me, and a man says that to you, it is the worst
feeling you can feel. I cried so hard that night. In my mind I thought, what a prejudice
bastard, what a horrible person.
Now to you so called Christians out there, isn't it true that Christ hung around the
criminals and the prostitutes? Wasn't he friends with them? The Bible says to love all
around you, to love your enemy. The way of Paganism also says to love those around you,
to help those in need.
Now I want to ask all of the followers of Christ…..do you really believe that we Pagans
are under the influence of Satan? Because I will say it now, Pagan's do not believe in
Satan, because he is in the category of Christianity, he does not exist amongst us.
Paganism is the worship of Mother earth….believing that each element has an impact on
Pagan's are loving, passionate, caring people, who love to help others through natural
And every Pagan will have their own set of battles to face.
I am lucky, to have a Mormon friend, who doesn't mind what belief I have, I am very happy
to have Christian friends who respect me, and we love to talk about it, we never argue.
So yes, I have respect for those who respect me.
But there are some of you cruel hearted people out there…willing to pin me at a stake and
judge me for what I call God. Accept it, that I am a younger generation of the anti-
Christ. Face it, I'm a warrior for the weak.
"learn not the way of the heathen." Jer.10.